THE OLYMPICS: TIME TO END THE DISCRIMINATION
I'm not 'anti' the Winter Olympics. How could I be? I like an event that includes a sport that combines cross-country skiing and drive-by shooting as much as the next person. What I'm curious about is why two seasons - summer and winter - get an Olympics, when the other two do not.
Personally, I think the Autumn Olympics has got a lot going for it as a concept. Some great sports could be developed. Leaf-Raking, for example, is ripe for being given a competitive edge. It's also a great time for pruning. A race with shrubs and secateurs would offer excitement, an aesthetic dimension, and even a little danger. Let's face it - it makes the Olympic Walk look stupid. (To be fair, sitting on chairs makes the Olympic Walk look stupid.) It's also the optimal time for making jam. If synchronised diving can be a sport, surely no one can argue against competitive pickling.
Also - why not just include sports that make the most of the fluctuations and variance that these 'middle seasons' can bring? A sport that fuses ice-skating and swimming sounds great to me. Diving - when the pool might have frozen over - is a sport for the brave, and thus highly worthy of medal recognition. If you're committed to embracing seasonal variability, the list of possibilities is virtually endless.
If the two existing Olympiads are going to be defined by a seasonal paradigm, it's time to give the other two their chance. They occur every four years, so let's rotate them all through on a 4 yearly cycle. It already fits. And it will hopefully stop people from seeing Autumn and Spring as somehow lesser than their more recognised compatriots. These are quality seasons, and they deserve our respect.
And we'd better get on with it. The way our climate is going, we're probably going to have the Fire Olympics and the Permafrost Olympics before too long, anyways.
As always, now is the time for change. Spread the word.
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