As a high school teacher, working with students who have an array of different needs is a challenge, but also one of the most rewarding things I get to do. This post isn't triggered by a single event, but rather a general reflection on working with those children who most need our care and support.
Some teachers are better at conveying this intention to parents (and students) than others, but despite this fact I'm yet to meet a teacher who didn't care about the children they teach. Of course, some are more empathetic and more capable or experienced than others, but this is surely true of all professions.
As is largely well understood, teachers spend most of their time working above the red line when it comes to deadlines, expectations and stress levels. The email that gets fired in our direction - written by a passionate, loving parent rightly advocating for their child - can be crushing when it lands at the wrong time after being written in the heat of a particular tough moment. Rather than attack the keyboard with a torrent of needs and demands, it's best to send an email asking for the teacher to call you when they get a chance. They will do so. Remember: dialogue is always best. Let's talk. Let's work together.
Don't be alarmed if it takes a days or two for the teacher to call you. Some of us get almost no breaks from face-to-face teaching (discounting lunch - which is our time) for up to two days straight, and in the little time we do have, we've got to plan our lessons and do our marking for the (on average) 5 classes and 140-odd students we also teach.
Please don't demand a meeting, especially at a specific time after school hours. We'll accomodate what we can, but we have lives and children of our own, too, some of whom also have disabilities and significant learning needs. If there is a way to go through a channel - such as a case manager, learning support coordinator or head of house/year - please use them. You'll get a much better, more thorough response when it comes.
Lastly, please have some faith in our professional abilities and judgement. We're not perfect, but your first child with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is not our first child with ASD. We really, truly want to work with you. We want your child to be proud of who they are and what they accomplish. We want them to look forward to our classes and feel safe and confident when they get there. We want to connect with the child, and work in the context of the need, rather than see the need and not the child. And we want you to be be grateful and appreciative of what we manage to accomplish, because that makes us feel pretty great, too.
It's the children with greater-than-average needs who continue to teach me the most about my profession (and life itself), and I've been teaching for twenty-three years. Not all are as experienced as me, or as confident in what they can achieve, but it's amazing what time, guidance and encourage can do. You, the parent, can be one of our best assets. Help your child by working with us. In the end, helping each other is the best and most simple of all possible goals, and the only one likely to bring about lasting, positive and affirming change.